How do you move forward when your whole world has fallen apart? When the life you knew is suddenly gone, and you’re left standing in the wreckage, wondering what comes next?

I remember asking myself that very question. After losing my husband Collin, I wasn’t sure how to take another breath, let alone move forward. The idea of rebuilding my life felt impossible—because I didn’t want a new life. I wanted the one I had, the one I loved, the one that was taken from me too soon!

And yet, here I am. Still standing. Still breathing. Still figuring it out, day by day. Moving forward after devastating loss isn’t about “getting over it” or leaving grief behind. It’s about learning to carry it differently. It’s about finding ways to exist in a world that feels unrecognizable, without guilt, without pressure, without a timeline.

1. Grief Changes, But It Never Disappears

Grief doesn’t have an expiration date. The pain shifts, evolves, and takes different shapes, but it doesn’t just go away. And honestly, I wouldn’t want it to. My grief is a reflection of my love, a tether that connects me to the life I had before. The world may expect us to “heal” and move on, but the truth is, we learn to move forward with our grief, not away from it.

2. Small Steps Are Still Steps

In the early days, even breathing felt like a chore. Getting out of bed was an accomplishment. I had to remind myself that progress isn’t always big and noticeable. Sometimes, it’s as small as making your bed, answering a text, or stepping outside for fresh air. Moving forward isn’t about rushing to be “okay”; it’s about honoring where you are and taking the next right step, whatever that looks like today.

3. Joy and Pain Can Coexist

For a time, I was afraid of feeling joy. Smiling felt like a betrayal. Laughing felt like forgetting. But I’ve learned that grief and joy are not enemies, they are companions. I can cry for what I lost and still find moments of peace. I can ache for what was and still embrace what is. Feeling happiness doesn’t mean I’m “over” my loss; it simply means I’m allowing myself to be human.

4. Finding Meaning Doesn’t Mean Being Okay With the Loss

People often talk about finding meaning or purpose after loss, and I believe in that. But let me be clear: that does not mean I’m okay with what happened. It does not mean I would ever choose this path or that I needed this pain to grow. It simply means that since I am here—since I am still breathing—I will try to use my life in a way that honors both my grief and my love. That might mean helping others, sharing my story, or simply living fully in the moments I have left.

5. There Is No Right Way, Only Your Way

I don’t have all the answers. No one does. But if you’re in that place of wondering how to move forward, please know this: You are not alone. There is no right way to grieve, no perfect timeline, no magic fix. There is only your way; the way that makes sense for you, the way that allows you to carry your loss while also making space for life.

Moving forward isn’t about forgetting. It’s about learning to live with your grief in a way that lets you breathe again, one moment at a time. And even when you don’t know how, especially when you don’t know how, just take the next breath. That is enough for today.