In life, we often find ourselves seeking reasons and explanations for the things we do. But when it comes to grief, it’s essential to understand that there are no rules, no deadlines, and certainly no need for explanations.

It’s been over a year since my husband Collin passed away, yet his cell phone service remains active, his G Suite email subscription is renewed, and all the services he once used are still running. His nightstand holds his belongings, his side of the closet is untouched, his sneakers still reside in the shoe rack in the closet, and his toothbrush and razor are patiently waiting as if he’ll return any moment.

You might wonder, as others have, why I haven’t “changed” or canceled any of these things. The truth is, I don’t have a clear cut reason why, and that’s perfectly okay! I will tend to it when I feel ready, there is no rush. Sometimes, life presents us with circumstances, like required moves, where we don’t have the luxury of time and waiting. But even in those moments, grief doesn’t adhere to schedules or logical explanations. It follows it’s own rhythm, which can be slow and unpredictable.

Grief isn’t linear; it’s a journey unique to each of us. There’s no right or wrong way to navigate it. The process unfolds at its own pace, and we must allow ourselves to feel, to remember, and to cherish those little things that provide solace amidst the pain.

So, to anyone who might be feeling like they need to “move on” or “change” things, I say this: There is no timeline in grief. Take all the time you need and know that healing is a deeply personal journey, guided by the heart, not the clock. Life’s demands may sometimes require some to adapt their environment quickly, but the healing of the heart is a process that deserves the utmost compassion and understanding.